There's No Content in Contentment

There are days when I feel lazy. I don’t want to do anything, just sprawl and watch TV. These are also the days when I have all the time in the world to write my blogs.

But an empty mind is the devil's workspace (it’s a Hindi proverb), and my devil is snarky and whiny.

All I want to write is how annoying this and that is, and how I am so much better, or how I would've done something so much better than the next person.

Thankfully, this doesn’t last. I get a reality check soon enough. But it doesn’t change my raving desire to write a rant disguised as a blog. Sometimes it’s alright, but I don’t want my page to be just about that. I am not entirely a whiny child.

So this time I decided to wait until I have something positive to write and I am in the zone to write. I decided I would only write another post when these two circles intersect. And it’s been a month. I realised there is never a right time. I won’t feel like writing until I actually start, and I won’t find anything positive until I actually want to.

It’s so much easier to find things to complain about.

If you make a 500-piece puzzle and lose the 500th piece, that is all you would focus on and not the 499 pieces that have found their perfect spot.

It’s human nature, we are problem solvers, that’s our purpose for existing. We wake up every day to fix problems. And the first step to fixing problems is finding them, it can’t be helped.

But since it’s a Sunday today, let’s actually take a day off, take time out from our inherent duty, and look at the 499 pieces.

While I was brushing my teeth today, it struck me that I am exactly where I wanted to be before I started the gruelling MBA prep journey. I wanted to be earning independently, ordering stuff without a second thought, and working on my own terms under a respectful employer. All the things I hoped and prayed for. Yet, since I started working, I don’t think I have taken a single day to sit and acknowledge that fact and be thankful to the world for it.

Instead, I have been complaining about the stain on a carpet in my castle. Everything has worked out perfectly. Even the things that didn’t turn out well make sense now. Yet I spent no time on being content at all.

Perhaps being content is boring. You work hard, you fail, you get up, you win, and then you’re content. But what next? I think we see contentment as the last step, and when there’s nothing to look forward to, we get bored. Struggles and desires keep things exciting and keep us on our toes. The little wins seem so much more fulfilling than the ultimate victory.

Not that I have achieved ultimate victory. In the large scheme of things, this is just another milestone achieved. 

But it’s a pretty big one.

And I am grateful for it.

Thanks for reading. This was my measly attempt at uplifting this page a little.

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Today's craving – Hand-pulled chilli oil flat noodles